a gay actor's dream

14/02/2026 -       It's valentine's day. Yey...  In all seriousness, I've never thought of this day to be particularly special. Well, I've also never dated anyone, so maybe that's why. But even then, I don't really think I would really find it special in any way. I don't know, since I've never "celebrated" it with someone else in a romantic fashion, I haven't grown fond of it. Anyway, I know February's not over, but I wanted to update you about my goals for this month. I wrote in a previous post that I had some goals for February, particularly about filming my potential short film. Well, it hasn't happened yet, and I don't think it will. I want to start to organize the production of my short film, but I don't have a good camera. My phone's camera is not very good, so it wouldn't look great. I want it to be good, but I feel like I'm not quite there yet. I don't have a lot of time, I don't have a good camer...

28/01/2026 - There's a topic that I abstained from talking about until now, because I didn't feel like I could articulate in a way that I would particularly find interesting or that some may find a bit triggering.   TW: Body discussion (body image; if you find this topic particularly uncomfortable or triggering, don't read this article)  I've been struggling a bit about my weight. All my life I've been chubby. And that's something I came to terms with during my teenage years. I come from a family that tends to eat well, so I also tend to eat well. I don't exercise, but I used to walk a lot because of my school traveling. Now that I'm working remotely, I'm not budging at all from home. Which I do miss, I miss going outdoors, but I also don't do anything to remedy this.  It's not like I don't like walking or exercising, but I find it rather tedious. Because I grew up staying at home a lot, I don't have the habit of going out that much....

25/01/2026 -  I'm HAPPY! I've been in a great mood since I began writing on this blog. Turns out: getting frustrated does NOT make me happy, so it's been therapeutic to me. I don't need anyone to even read these, I just want to let it out and go on with my life. I didn't expect it to be so effective. I expected to feel a bit better, but not THIS better. It has motivated me to write more, and be more focused on my work.  Last time I've felt like this was when I decided I wanted to be an actor, but before that I remember distinctly feeling like this when I started my final project for my animation course. We had to do a short animated film. I felt so free, because we had a theme for the project, which we had to abide by loosely,  so we had freedom to do practiaclly anything. The theme was "Movement". A very ecompassing theme; we were grateful to have this as a theme, because it meant we could do anything. Animation being literally pictures that move, it ...

 23/01/2026 -   This is a question I've asked myself a couple of times. I do have some "dream roles", or more so existing roles I think I'd be good at or that I'd love to do.  First of all, I love horror. Any type of horror really. There's a horror movie I saw at the cinema when it released, 'It: Chapter Two', that still to this day I refuse to watch again. Not because I hated it, but because I was so scared when I watched it, that I literally couldn't handle it. I ended up closing my eyes 90% of the movie. The thing that scares me so much is Pennywise, obviously. I love Pennywise. He's such a menacing creature. I remember that he shapeshifts, or transforms into other people, and I HATE that. It's such a horrifying thought, not being able to 100% believe in what you see because, it could be him. Of course, I don't live in constant fear that he's going to catch me, but I certainly do fear him in the movies. That's one of the reas...

 22/01/2026 -  Today i thought about writing something a bit more light-hearted than my previous posts: some of the games I like!  Recently I've been reminiscing about playing the Kingdom Hearts games again. I played through most of them on my Playstation 4 a few years ago, and I've been watching a lot of lore videos again. The thing with those games is, the story really interconnects with the gameplay in a way, like the way each character reacts and moves is explained through their behaviours and stories. I love the combat system, especially Birth By Sleep's. I think that a cooldown based system is much better than a meter than runs out, because some attacks do require more MP points than others, but even if you only have 1 MP, you can cast any of the magic in the game, which doesn't really make sense. With cooldowns, you don't have that consistency problem, you have to really gauge what attacks you do in what order, because if you spam all of your atta...

 21/01/2026 -   This morning I saw a video of François Arnaud, part of the cast of Heated Rivalry, talking in an interview with Andy Cohen. One of the questions asked by Andy was "Are you verbal in the bedroom?". I was completely shocked. And I mean, sure, Andy Cohen asks  different  questions than other interviewers. However, I still gasped at how... inappropriate the question was? Yes, he's part of a show where we see him have sex full-on display in 4K 24 fps, but it is still a very odd question. Is it not? Am I so European that I don't feel like that's normal? LKJASNFJKNSDK (this is me laughing by the way) So, the thing is, before this type of interviews, I assume that the guests are somewhat prepared for what's coming; I think they know what type of questions they're getting. And I also think that François Arnaud didn't really mind those questions, because he's interacting with Andy just fine, so maybe I'm trying to read too much into this....