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I still have hope for myself

19/06/2026 - It has been a while since I've written something... I'm sorry for not keeping up my promise of writing. This is an apology to my older self; the one I remember so well, wanting to be an actor, filling myself with such dreams that I couldn't even think how I could achieve them. I did not get accepted to the theatre college I applied. And frankly, I'm relieved. Since my last post, a lot has changed. I moved, now I'm living with my brother, my ambitions shifted... I got more in touch with the game developer dream, and I think I am not going to become an actor anymore. It is sad, sometimes I feel like a part of me has vanished, the strong will to go to the theatre college has disappeared some time ago. The thing is, I knew this was going to happen. I told myself it wouldn't, but it always does.  I don't believe in destiny, fate or spirituality. However, the truth is, the world speaks in funny ways sometimes, and it looks like it's sending me sig...

We're in the middle of February, what now?

14/02/2026 - 

    It's valentine's day. Yey... 

In all seriousness, I've never thought of this day to be particularly special. Well, I've also never dated anyone, so maybe that's why. But even then, I don't really think I would really find it special in any way. I don't know, since I've never "celebrated" it with someone else in a romantic fashion, I haven't grown fond of it.

Anyway, I know February's not over, but I wanted to update you about my goals for this month. I wrote in a previous post that I had some goals for February, particularly about filming my potential short film. Well, it hasn't happened yet, and I don't think it will. I want to start to organize the production of my short film, but I don't have a good camera. My phone's camera is not very good, so it wouldn't look great. I want it to be good, but I feel like I'm not quite there yet. I don't have a lot of time, I don't have a good camera; I'm okay with waiting a little bit longer, because I was thinking of buying a camera, or at least a phone with a better camera than mine, because I also need a new phone. If I don't get to film it this year, I wouldn't mind either. I like the idea and the concept, but it's okay if I don't do this yet. I don't feel necessarily prepared to execute it anyway.

I haven't been writing here, but it's not because I don't want to keep writing, it's more so because I don't have anything in particular to write about. Everything has been pretty much the same, and I wrote a lot in a short amount of time, so I feel like a pause would let me breathe a little bit and let my ideas flow in my brain before writing it here.

 I have been playing more video games recently. Before, I felt stuck, like I had games installed, but didn't want to play any of them because they bored me after like 5 minutes. Now, I looked at myself, what I wanted to do, and actually found myself enjoying games that I normally wouldn't play. For example, 2 years ago, I played a lot Apex Legends, which is an FPS. Then, I felt like I didn't really like that game anymore. I was frustrated because I didn't like any other shooter. I had my 2-week Minecraft phase, which actually lasted more than 2 weeks, can you believe it? I created a "Forever World", a world where I would always play on, and expand every update. I still play on it sometimes, and I've grown very fond of it. Now, I feel like every game I've played before just feels boring because I already know what to do. That's when I started playing some puzzle games. I installed the game "A Little to the Left", a puzzle game where we have to organize things following a criteria, like from smallest to biggest, colour, anything the game asks us to do. I'm really looking forward to play it! I've been playing "The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past", which I have written previously about, saying that I didn't understand the hype. Well, now I'm halfway into it, and I completely understand the hype. I played the remake/reimagining of the game on 3DS, and it was great, but the original just knocks it out of the park! I really didn't expect to have so much fun on that game, and to be frank, I don't know why! I've always loved the Zelda franchise, played almost all of them...

I'm ending the post here because I really want to play "A Little to the Left" so... 

Bye, and Happy Valentine's Day! 

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